Day 29: Compassion Cultivation

 Welcome to 40 Days of Mindfulness and Compassion Day 29!

 

Lecture

 In compassion cultivation practices, we are working to transform some of our habitual reactions to suffering. I like to frame such reactions in terms of two extremes. On one extreme, we become overwhelmed or distressed in the face of suffering. For instance, I might encounter a homeless person and this encounter may trigger distress, or a variant fear-based response. Or, empathizing with the suffering of another may result in my own pain and suffering. Some studies indicate that, in a case of strong emotional attunement, being with the suffering of another “tricks” my brain into thinking that it is my own. Parts of my brain then become activated as if this suffering is my own.

On another extreme, we turn away from the suffering.  There are many ways to do this. We might ignore the suffering. In the case of a homeless person, I may literally look away, or immediately distract myself with some other thought process in order to deflect my attention from noticing the suffering. In other cases, I may minimize suffering in order to avoid acknowledging it. A more sinister, but common strategy, is to spin stories around the suffering that it is deserved or warranted and therefore unworthy of empathy or compassion.

There are many variations of these two reactions. They are very natural and occur habitually and instinctively. So, in a very real way, we are habituated not to be with suffering in a caring and sustained way. We do this much of the time, both with the suffering of the world around us as well as with our own suffering.

With compassion cultivation, we are learning a more balanced approach. We are learning to be with suffering but not to become overwhelmed by it. We are learning to be with suffering and not to minimize it. Of course it is not all or none, and we do not get there overnight, but we can develop the capacity to be with difficulty in a more sustained and caring way. Through practice, we can continually develop our “compassion muscle.”

Today’s practice will closely complement yesterday’s practice. These practices offer a gateway into sustained compassion cultivation.  But remember that what we are conscious of is only the “tip of the iceberg.” With consistency, my experience is that something is shifting under the surface that might not be consciously apparent at first. I compare it to exercise. Training for something hurts, and on a daily basis sometimes it does not feel that any progress is being made. But, with time and consistency, results emerge.

And importantly, sometimes what we experience is NOT compassion or mindfulness etc. These could be distraction, uncomfortable or unpleasant emotions or really anything other that what we might expect. This is part off the process. And, learning to be with whatever is there is an important part of the process, and part of building courage and compassion.

 

Meditation

Meditation Day 29: Cultivating our Natural Compassion

 

Self-Reflective Activity

 Try to consciously recognize acts of kindness or compassion, no matter how small, that you witness throughout the day. When you notice such acts, pause for a moment and note this and appreciate it.

 

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