Day 2

Mindfulness of Breathing Part II

 Welcome to 40 Days of Mindfulness and Compassion Day 2! I am glad that you are here and look forward to these next 39 days.

 

Lecture

 Remember that consistency is important. As I mentioned yesterday, it is better to meditate a short period every day than to “binge meditate.” To help with this, there will be various short (5-10 minute) meditations posted during these 40 days. I would also like to again encourage you to journal about your experiences during these 40 days.

Today, I would like to discuss two barriers to contemplative practice. These are very common to modern practitioners, and will be brought up periodically during these 40 days. The first is expectations, and the second is self-criticism.

Our expectations can be a significant barrier to contemplative practice. Often our expectations tell us that we should be experiencing something. If we are not experiencing what we think that we should be experiencing, then resistance emerges. This resistance can take many forms, including avoidance, frustration and a variety of other reactive emotions and habitual tendencies.

Buddhist author Ken McLeod, in his book Waking Up to Your Life, suggests that we distinguish between results and expectations in contemplative practices.  The goal of something is what we are trying to achieve. For instance, I might have a goal of being physically fit. To achieve this goal, I might adopt a method, such as running. After sticking to my method for a while, I may achieve a result, such as being able to run a certain distance etc. But, each time that I exercised I did not achieve this result. It only happened after time. Each time I employed the method, I might have had different effects (soreness, tiredness, fatigue, rejuvenation etc.). In effect, the effects of my exercise method were probably quite diverse over time. If I confuse the effects with the results then I may become discouraged or evaluate my progress incorrectly. But, with patience and perseverance, and time, I may discover one day that I am much more physically fit.

Contemplative practices are much like this. The results manifest over time, and often manifest when we are not engaged in a contemplative practice, perhaps in a “normal” activity of daily life.  I cannot emphasize this enough. The results (eg. mindfulness, compassion) often do not manifest immediately, but emerge over time. What we experience immediately are the effects, and these sometimes feel counter to what our goal is. So, letting go of expectations means letting go of specific effects that we expect from a practice at any given time.  If we do this, and do the practices, results emerge at some point. 40 days is enough time to take stock, and evaluate results. Sharon Salzberg sometimes suggests trying 15 minutes a day for a month, and then evaluate.

If we focus too much on immediate results, we might experience resistance and/or backlash, leading to frustration, avoidance, or negative self-evaluation.  It is for this reason that I conceive of mindfulness of breathing as a self-compassion practice.We will dig into self-compassion quite a bit during these 40 days, but for now, think of self-compassion as a way of self-relating that may be gentler than what we are accustomed to.

As indicated, I like to frame mindfulness practice as a compassion practice. It is “more” than simply a skill of increased focused and attention. It can certainly be used as such, but traditionally, and definitely in this model, it serves as the gateway into self-insight and compassion. And so again, we are re-training ourselves, developing new habits. Typically, I think our minds are always “on the go.” We are always doing something, thinking about something, or taking in a new piece of information. In some ways this process of “doing nothing,” of simply being with the breath, runs counter to all that we might normally do, and maybe even what our culture tells us we should do, and definitely runs counter to what we are used to. So…. it can be expected to have some internal pushback. The mind is basically not used to doing this, and it will probably offer up some resistance. In working with this resistance, and sticking with the practice, we are developing resiliency and strength (I think on multiple levels). But, it might not feel like that immediately! Think again of the exercise example. Suppose I start a new routine. At first I might not feel any better at all, or notice any changes. I might even feel worse, or think that I feel worse. But, over time, I will definitely be able to see changes and improvement. Contemplative practices are a lot like this.

The practice is “simply” to be with the sensations of the breathing, and then we notice that the mind has wandered to gently bring the mind back to the breath and the practice….. again and again. To a very real extent, the important part of the practice is what we do when we get distracted. If we are gentle and persevere, then the results of the practice will naturally emerge over time.

 

Meditation Tips

Meditation Tip #4: Let go of expectations! Just do the practice. Don’t evaluate your ability or skill etc. because of immediate effects. Such evaluations can be very significant barriers in pursuing a contemplative practice. Whatever experience you have is authentic. Accepting what is there, and sticking with the methods, builds resilience, patience, and compassion naturally over time.

 

Meditation

Compassionate Mindfulness of Breathing (20 minutes)

If this practice is too long for you today, do one of the shorter practices from Day 1.

Also, I encourage this short intention practice any day:

 

Short Mindfulness and Intention Meditation (5 Minutes)

 

Self-Reflective Activity

Try and stop 3-5 times during your daily activities for a short (1-2 minute pause). You might even set up reminders for you to do this.  Simply feel the sensations of the breathing as you breathe in and out for 10-20 cycles.  Now observe your mind. How are you relating to yourself? With compassion and gentleness? With self-criticism? Anything else?

 

Questions/Feedback

If you ever have a question, or would like to give any feedback about working with the material, please use this online form. Answers to such questions may be included (anonymously) in daily messages. It is my experience that the answer to one person’s question can often be helpful to many.

 

For access to all daily pages click here

For access to all meditations click here