Day 21: Broadening Equanimity
Welcome to 40 Days of Mindfulness and Compassion Day 21!
Lecture
Today, we continue to work with equanimity and a practice called Expanding Our Field of Concern. As discussed yesterday, the practice of equanimity softens the edges of our habitual categories, lenses or boxes that we perceive the world through. These filters cause us to be unbalanced in our reactions to others and to ourselves. By softening and becoming more even-minded and even-hearted, we sow the seeds and lay the foundation for broadening compassion and kindness. Instead of experiencing the world through comparisons, we become more able to experience the world through connections.
I think that our default is often to view and experience the world in terms of categories. We apply these to ourselves, to others, and to situations. These categories provide distinctions, and to a large extent we view the world in terms of of differences implied by such distinctions: This is different from that… I am different from you etc. And, importantly, in the context of compassion cultivation, many of these differences involve judgment, and in relation to others, these judgments involve hierarchy and subtle forms of dehumanization. In the compassion cultivation process, we are softening up these categories a bit. I like to say “softening the edges.”
Ultimately, the goal is to perceive similarity first, on a habitual and instinctual level, rather than perceive difference first. Thus, it is turning an ingrained habitual tendency on its head. The phrase “Just Like Me” is subtle but very effective way of beginning to do this. It may seem fake at first but it is softening the edges.
This practice is very amenable to doing informally throughout the day. I encourage you to try it out. I like to use it following the rhythm of the breath. One option is to think “Just Like Me you do not want to suffer” as I inhale (or “Just Like Me No One Wants to Suffer) and “Just Like Me you want to be happy as I exhale (or “Just Like Me Everyone Wants to be Happy). Another version is to do the process in the context of a particular type of suffering that I am experiencing, for instance anxiety. As I breathe in, I think of myself and the countless others experiencing this and think “Just like me many people have anxiety” as I inhale, and “Just like me each of us wants to be happy” as I exhale and cultivate a sense of relief for myself and those others as I exhale. These are a few examples of ways that I think this practice is very portable into daily life.
Here is a short talk I gave on this topic during a class:
Here is a talk that I gave on the concept and practice of broadening equanimity
Here are a few resources on the neuroscience of empathy. Susan Fiske is the researcher that I referred to yesterday.
Fiske_2009_Neuroscience_Empathy
Meditation Tips
Meditation Tip #21: End each meditation with a short reflection of how you will integrate the practice into daily life. Do not just jump up and frantically begin your regular activities. Try to ease back in to daily life so that there is not a sharp boundary between practice and life.
Meditation
Day 21: Expanding our Field of Concern
Self-Reflective Activity
As you engage with others throughout the day, periodically stop and observe your thoughts. What types of thoughts are occurring? Are these indicative of deeper emotional states?
Reflections on Compassion 