Day 4

Appreciation

 Welcome to 40 Days of Mindfulness and Compassion Day 4!

 

Lecture

World-renowned neuropsychologist Rick Hanson says that our brains have a “Velcro for the bad” and “Teflon for the good.” What this means is we habitually notice, focus and recognize “bad” things and events and have more difficulty doing so with “good” events. Evolutionarily speaking, that was probably a necessity. The world is a dangerous and scary place, especially for vulnerable hominids like us. In essence, we have been programmed to scan the environment at all times for threats to our life, health and well-being.

This approach, though, has perhaps outlived its usefulness. When survival instincts run the show, we become motivated by fear, anxiety, and the like. This is problematic on many levels. These survival mechanisms are automatic and reactive. They cause us to see the world in black and white categories and leave little room for reasoned reflection or trust. In essence, when dominated by such survival reflexes we are constantly reacting instead of responding.

This fits into the model that was presented yesterday by Paul Gilbert. Recall that, in his model, there are three motivational systems that have evolved through evolution: 1) the survival system, which focuses on threats and basic survival needs, 2) the drive system, which focus on acquiring goods and resources, and 3) the mammalian system, which I like to refer to as the compassion/connection system. Importantly, because our brains have been habituated to have “Velcro for the bad,” our survival system is always on guard and being triggered.

This is definitely the case, to me, in the modern world.  In the current information age, our brains and organic systems are constantly being bombarded with communication, horrific news, and time demands. A result of this can be experiences of overwhelm. In short, our primal survival system is constantly being triggered and so we are constantly tightly wound and on guard. This is not to say that this system is not vital and important. But it is to say that this system is activated many times when it is not useful or appropriate.

On one important level, we are softening or undoing this habitual reactive responsiveness a bit when we engage in contemplative practices. But, we have to come back again and again. The fear/survival system is very deeply ingrained.

The Tibetan word for meditation is gom. It is sometimes translated as “habituation” or “familiarization.”  Basically, we are re-habituating our brains to become more balanced and less reactive. We are softening the habitual tendency to see the world in black and white categories. We are increasing our ability to take in the beauties of life, relax and foster healthy relationships with others and ourselves. Ultimately, we are affecting even the perceptual and appraisal mechanisms that seem to be mainly unconscious or pre-conscious. Today’s practice will help a bit to undo our innate “Velcro for the bad,” and to foster more appreciation and sense of goodness.

 

Meditation Tips

 Meditation Tip #6: Every experience is authentic.This ties in to the tip concerning expectations. We have a tendency to compare our actual experiences in meditation to experiences that we think that we should be having. Try to establish positive physical and psychological conditions for the practice, and then let go. Just do the practice. The actual experiences that you have will be varied.

If I do the same meditation practice daily for a week, I will most likely have different experiences each time. Some might be desirable and others undesirable. I might cling to those that are desirable and push away those that are not. But this is not helpful. Every experience is authentic. In the experience of meditation, the goal is to be with these variety of experiences in an honest, open and curious way. Again, every experience is authentic.  Your experience is your experience and that experience is authentic. It is easier to say than to put into practice, but it is very important. In taking this approach we are fostering mindfulness, wisdom, compassion and resiliency.

 

Meditation

Appreciation: Breathing in the Good

  

Self-Reflective Activity

Two Options:

• Try and stop 3-5 times during your daily activities for a short (1-2 minute pause). You might even set up reminders for you to do this. Simply feel the sensations of the breathing as you breathe in and out for 10-20 cycles.  Now observe your immediate situation. Ask yourself the following question: “What do I appreciate about my life right now? See what comes up and write it down and/or reflect on it.

 

• At the end of the day spend a few minutes reflecting and/or journaling on the following question: “What do I appreciate about my day today? Even if not journaling, writing down what comes up for you can be a powerful way of establishing this “goodness” into your psyche.

 

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