Day 39: Active Compassion (Tonglen)

Welcome to 40 Days of Mindfulness and Compassion Day 39!

 

Lecture

 Thank you for participating in these 40 Days. I have received several questions about resources. Several days after the 40 Days are completed, you will receive an email with links to resources, which will include links to resources alluded to during these lectures, as well as other resources that might be beneficial. You will also receive the opportunity to download all meditations. And, the streamable versions will remain active for 30 days.

 I often say that the compassion cultivation process is counterintuitive at every step of the way. What I mean be this is that it will often go against ingrained psychological and emotional tendencies developed through evolution and culture. For instance, even the act of taking a short amount of time out of each day to meditate runs against the grain of culture. Culture tells us to do and to produce, or to seek entertainment. Taking time out each day to “do nothing” is not part of this equation and may appear counterproductive. It is natural, therefore, to expect internal resistances.

Secondly, the task of turning toward suffering is extremely counterintuitive. Habitual reactions to suffering typically involve one of two extremes. Either the suffering overcomes us, resulting in distress, or we turn away from it, either consciously or unconsciously. We either are overwhelmed or distracted. Compassion cultivation is teaching us a middle way. We learn to be with it without being overwhelmed or distracted.

Thirdly, the task of broadening or globalizing is extremely counterintuitive. By default, as we have seen, there are certain persons or groups for which compassion comes more easily. In fact, I would say that our identities are, at least to some degree, conditioned by the habitual categorization of others. At a very subtle level, we define ourselves by who is in our “in group” etc. The expansion practices directly rub against the grain of such categorizations.

Finally, there is the practice offered today of Active Compassion, or Tonglen. Tonglen is a Tibetan word that is translated as “sending and taking” of “giving and receiving,” It is a potentially transformative practice, and one that is readily integrated into daily living. It involves imagining that one is “taking in” suffering and “sending out” love, and joy and relief etc. The suffering is taken in and then naturally transformed so that what is given back is “goodness.” There are many variations of this practice. What is offered here is a variation of the practice done in the Compassion Cultivation Training program.

Like most practices, a key point of this practice is to be gentle with yourself. A variation of the practice that I often encourage is to imagine tapping into all of your confidence on the inhalation and reciting silently “I have the courage to be with this suffering” (or some variation of that). Or, you san simply feel the sensations of confidence as your breathe in. And then breathe out lightness and love. It is a simple and transformative practice. I am always amazed at this practice every time that it is covered in CCT. The meditation here is one that was recorded a little while back for another program and is called Tonglen for America.

 

Meditation

Meditation Day 39: Tonglen for America

 

Self-Reflective Activities

 When aware of someone’s suffering (including your own), do tonglen practice on the spot — breathe in and breathe out compassion.

 Look for opportunity to be present with someone else’s difficult situation, stress, or suffering, to “breathe it in” without having to immediately fix it, and without panicking yourself. Recognize that your willingness to “be with (breathe with)” the person and their suffering is an act of compassion.