Dent Gitchel Jr., PhD

 

Meditation Tip #1: Consistency is very important. It is more important than quantity. Meditating for a brief period every day  (or close to every day) is much better than intensive periods followed by lagging periods. To that end, you will be provided with a short meditation each day. I sometimes coax my students into committing to five minutes a day to begin with. For most of us, this would be a very big step.

 

Meditation Tip #2: Try to adopt a posture while meditating that encourages both alertness and relaxation.  This is a point that will be revisited throughout the 40 days. Much of meditation is finding a posture that facilitates these aspects of alertness and relaxation. Alertness is emphasized through sitting postures that are grounded and upright. The back should be as straight as possible (using its natural curvature) and the gaze should be slightly downward. Your eyes can be closed or slightly open. If slightly open, allow the gaze to be “open” and not focused on anything. From this place of alertness and uprightness, allow the body and muscles to relax and settle. Now, you are ready to meditate!

 

Meditation Tip #3: Keep the attention “not too tight” and “not too loose.” Traditionally, this is sometimes likened to a musical instrument. For instance, if you are playing a stringed instrument the strings should not be too tight or two loose.

Your concentration is the same in meditation. It should be neither too loose nor too tight. You can play with this right now as your reading this. Stop, and simply observe your awareness. Purposefully make it too tight and focused. It may feel like there is a lot of effort here, and facial muscles might become engaged etc. As many of us are tightly wound, this may not feel that unfamiliar. Now, allow your concentration to be extremely spacious and relaxed. It may be completely unfocused and feel very relaxing. Now, look for a state that is a place of balance between these two extremes. Find a state the calmly focused, along with as sense of spaciousness and relaxation. In short, we are aiming toward a balance between precision/focus and relaxation.

 

Meditation Tip #4: Let go of expectations! Just do the practice. Don’t evaluate your ability or skill etc. because of immediate effects. Such evaluations can be very significant barriers in pursuing a contemplative practice. Whatever experience you have is authentic. Accepting what is there, and sticking with the methods, builds resilience, patience, and compassion naturally over time.

 

Meditation Tip #5: The beginning and end of a meditation session (even a short one) are very important. At the beginning, it is good to transition into the main practice by articulating an intention and coming from that intentional space (eg. may I be with whatever arises and not evaluate my experiences during this practice).  This intention will then flavor the entire practice. At the end, it is important not to end abruptly but to gently transition from the main meditation and end with a closing dedication (eg. may this practice contribute to the well being of myself and others)

 

Meditation Tip #6: Every experience is authentic.This ties in to the tip concerning expectations. We have a tendency to compare our actual experiences in meditation to experiences that we think that we should be having. Try to establish positive physical and psychological conditions for the practice, and then let go. Just do the practice. The actual experiences that you have will be varied.

If I do the same meditation practice daily for a week, I will most likely have different experiences each time. Some might be desirable and others undesirable. I might cling to those that are desirable and push away those that are not. Bu this is not helpful. Every experience is authentic. In the experience of meditation, the goal is to be with these variety experiences in an honest, open and curious way. Every experience is authentic.  Your experience is your experience and that experience is authentic. It is easier to say than to put into practice, but it is very important. In taking this approach we are fostering mindfulness, wisdom, compassion and resiliency.

 

Meditation Tip #7: When in doubt, come back to the body. In the modern world, many or most of us “live in our heads.” At least speaking for myself, we are stressed, tightly wound and self-critical. If we bring these qualities into our contemplative practices unaware, then the practices can actually contribute to these. We can become more stressed, more tightly wound, and our self-criticism may be triggered. We may even self-identify as a failure, or as someone who “cannot meditate.” The antidote: relax and come back to the body and somatic sensations.

 

Meditation Tip #8: When cultivating something in meditation practice, what emerges is often not what it is that we are trying to cultivate. For instance, when trying to cultivate mindfulness what I might become aware of is how unmindful I am! When trying to cultivate compassion, I might become aware of the countless ways that I am not compassionate! These are not problems. They are actually indications that the practices are working. Can I just be with what is there is an open and nonjudgmental way?

 

Meditation Tip #9: Push yourself, but at the same time be very gentle and easy on yourself.Set your ship on its desired course, and give it just enough wind, but then get out of the way. When we endeavor to do something, we are often tightly wound. This is counterproductive. Cultivate discipline with a lot of relaxation and kindness in it.

 

Meditation Tip #10: Curiosity. Be curious about your own experiences. This is much easier to say than to do. I remember back to childhood and a strong and open curiosity that I might have toward a project or something of interest. This is difficult, for me, to rekindle in adulthood, and when I am able to it is typically in reference to something that is external.

 

Meditation Tip #11: Recognize that struggling is normal, and come back to your basic motivation. Meditation is a struggle, at  least partly, because we are going directly counter to many of our habitual tendencies.

 

Meditation Tip #12: If struggling or having difficulties, normalize but do not pathologize, your own experiences.  The content is personal, but the process is impersonal. What you are going through is a human process. As one of my teachers sometimes says “the brain is just doing what the brain does.”

 

Meditation Tip #13: Be aware of the quality of the mind that “notices” when the practice is going “wrong.” 
When we notice that we have strayed or become distracted, we are instructed to gently come back. Be aware of the mind that notices. Is it compassionate and gentle? Is it harsh and self-critical? Somewhere in-between?

 

Meditation Tip #14: You are not your thoughts. If overcome or identifying very strongly with thought when meditating, one approach is to realize that this is happening and recite silently “these are just  thoughts. I am not my thoughts.” Then breath out spaciousness and come back to the practice.

 

Meditation Tip #15: In meditations in which you are asked to reflect, an attitude of gentleness and looseness is very important. If you can, also bring a mindset of curiosity to the practice. Let go of any expectations and simply allow your mind to reflect on the statement or question that is given. Do not seek answers. Just mindfully be with the reflections.

 

Meditation Tip #16:If feeling lost or discouraged, consider tapping into your intentionfor doing the practice, or your intention of what you are trying to cultivate. Do not worry if you can fully embody to access this intention. Just acknowledge it, breathe into to it and then allow to imbue your meditation session.

 

Meditation Tip #17: Return to the breath again and again.I said in one of the first days, echoing Sharon Salzberg, that one of the wonderful qualities of mindfulness of breathing practices is that it is portable.We have access to it under any circumstance and in any location. Additionally, this practice takes us into the body, which is beneficial in and of itself, as many of us live “in our heads” much if the time. The breath is always accessible to us, and the more that we implement this technique, the more that it spontaneously becomes available to us in busy everyday life.

 

Meditation Tip #18: If a practice involves imagery, the process is the same as with other practices: Just gently do the practice and do not expect any particular effect (i.e a visual response). Think of it as imagination rather than visualization. We all know what it is like to imagine. Tap into the imagination and “see what happens.” We all imagine in different ways.

 

Meditation Tip #19: Approach mediation as an act of self-compassion. No matter the type of meditation practice, it can be helpful to approach it with the mind and attitude of self-compassion. At the beginning, you might pause an ask yourself: what attitude am I bringing with me to this practice? Am I being soft and gentle with myself?

 

Meditation Tip # 20: Practice being able to observe your own experience as you engage in practice. We are strongly habituated in the modern world to seek truth outside of ourselves, and to focus on the content of our experiences rather than the how of experience. We will likely bring this perspective with us when we meditate. Gradually train yourself to be aware of the how of experience, to the lived qualities of experience. For instance, how is it for you as you gently follow the sensations of your breathing?

 

Meditation Tip #21: End each meditation with a short reflection of how you will integrate the practice into daily life. Do not just jump up and frantically begin your regular activities. Try to ease back in to daily life so that there is not a sharp boundary between practice and life.

 

Meditation Tip #22: Pursue practices that energize and refresh. Of course, it is important to do a practice for a bit before evaluating its effectiveness, but learn to be a scientist of your own experiences and to examine the effects and results of practices. We all have different learning styles, past experiences and emotional needs. Adapt practices to your unique situation. Choose practices over time that leave you energized and refreshed and lead to more moments of clarity and compassion in everyday life.

 

Meditation Tip #23: Develop gratitude for your meditation practice. Gratitude for our practice will ground us in our true intentions and increase our motivation. It also feels good, fosters connection to others, calms our mind and opens our heart.

 

Meditation Tip #24: Develop a Core Practice. If you discover a practice that you really resonate with, then consider taking this practice as a daily practice for some time, like a week or a month, to notice its effects on you.

 

Meditation Tip # 25: Cultivate the intention and ability to hold tension in your meditation practice. If unable to do this, we are likely to quit. Many come to meditation thinking that their minds, or bodies, have to be completely peaceful in order to successfully meditate. But, more often than not, there will be turmoil and high activity, or some sort of discomfort. The goal, then it is to be able to hold that “stressed” mind or discomfort with as much gentle presence as possible while doing the main practice.

 

Meditation Tip #26: Bring the perspectives of meditation into daily life. Carry any skills and insights that you have developed with you “off the cushion.” This will provide continuity between your meditation and the rest of your life and might, surprisingly, positively impact  the quality of formal meditations.

 

Meditation Tip #27: Be a Scientist of your own experience. At best, science asks a question and examines possible answers to that question in an open, rigorous, objective and curious manner. We should take this same attitude to our own experiences.

 

Meditation Tip #28: Resistance is a natural process and not a sign of failure or that “something is wrong” with you. When resistance emerges in a practice, see if you can allow the resistance to be there without resisting it! In other words, allow enough spaciousness and compassion to exist in your awareness for the resistance to be there in the periphery while engaging in the practice. When distracted from breathing practice, we are exhorted to relax, release and return. This same strategy can be used when resistances arise.